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Battles of the Derp
idek. Paint Fight Jayfeather: Hm. Should I hate Leafpool more today? Leafpool: *across the other side of the territory* GOSH DARN IT CROWFEATHERRR!! Jayfeather: Should I get a new prophecy? Spottedleaf: *from StarClan* YES PLEASE IT'S LONELY UP HERE! *sobs* Jayfeather: Should I go be an ancient tribe cat again? Half Moon: *from all the way in the past in the ancient Tribe of Rushing Water* I NEED YOU JAY'S WING!!! Tribe: wut the- Jayfeather: Why is the day so loud .-. Anyways i'll just watch some TV with Willowshine. Willowshine: *right next to Jayfeather* kk. Jayfeather: Right. Wait how did you- *loud explosion heard from outside* Willowshine: WTDF WAS THAT!? Lionblaze: *rushes into den covered in purple paint* ShadowClan is invading with paint guns! Cinderheart was splashed in the leg with red paint and it looks dramatic! HALP US! Jayfeather and Willowshine: WE GOT DIS! *grabs water guns, runs out.* Blackstar: AHAUDUDUAHDAUDHAUD UHAMHAFGHGDSFGSDGGDD!!! *spraying everybody around him with a paint gun loaded with red paint* DIE! DIEEEEE!! Whitewing: OH NO MY PELT SO STICKY AND GROSSSS!! *falls over, covered in blue paint. Russetfur: MWHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! *sprays Toadstep and runs* Jayfeather: Is strong battle! *pulls out a laser gun, lasers off Crowfrost's tail* Crowfrost: AGHHH NOOOO!! *runs out of battle, scared of Jayfeather* Lionblaze: Dude we need to take down Blackstar! Hollyleaf: I got dis. *pulls out a paint-roller* FOR THUNDERCLAN AND NOT WINDCLAN OR ASHFUR!!! *charges at Blackstar* Blackstar: AGAGAHAHAHAGAAAA wait hu- *is completely covered in green paint from Hollyleaf* NOOOO!! *loses life* ShadowClan: dis just got reeeeall.. *flees* Firestar: YAy! Yay! We won! Yay! *victory dance* Graystripe: Woohoo! Millie is safe! Cloudtail: *sobbing over Whitewing* Why! Her pelt was so shiny! But now it's uglyyyy!! *sobs harder* Brightheart: *is dripping in yellow paint* The stickiness is turning solidd!! Jayfeather and Willowshine: EVERYBODY GO TO THE RIVER IF YOU HAVE PAINT ON YOU!! Most of ThunderClan: Oki. *cleans off* Firestar: TOnight is the gathering, we shall scream at ShadowClan! ThunderClan: Yay! Willowshine: Got it. At the Gathering Onestar: I'm a jerk! Leopardstar: I kick butt! Blackstar: I'm mean! Firestar: BLACKSTAR TRIED TO KILL THUNDERCLAN! Everybody but ShadowClan and ThunderClan: *gasp* OMG I DID NOT KNOW THAT AT ALL! Willowshine: SIGH Hollyleaf: Yay I killed both Ashfur and Blackstar! Ravenpaw: *peeping from bushes* FIRESTAR I HAVE DEMANDS! Firestar: *faints, loses life, wakes up* kk wut you wunt. (8 lives left) Ravenpaw: A warrior name, I mean, it's way overdue. Firestar: Ravenleap, now begone! Ravenleap: YAYYYY btw something bout the Tribe and an evil plan to control all the Clans, maybe Tigerstar is involved, but it doesn't really matter. *poofs* Jayfeather: Do you think that was important? Flamepaw: Very. Blackstar: ENOUGH! Btw good prey, leaf-bare is new, same as always. THUNDERCLAN IS STEALING OUR BLOW DARTS! Firestar: I'll have you know I purchased them of LeBay for a good price of 2 kits and a mouse! Ferncloud: SO THATS WHERE EMBERKIT AND GOLDENKIT WENT!! Oakfur: So uh, what happens now? Leopardstar and Tallstar: *step back* Firestar and Blackstar: *screeching at eachother* Willowshine: I have an idea.. *whispers to Flamepaw and Jayfeather* Flamepaw: mmk. alright. you sure? got it. Flamepaw: THE TRUCE HAS BEEN BROKEN, DERPCLAN IS ANGRY! *tree falls on Tigerpaw* Jayfeather: I AM SPIRIT CAT AND I'M MAD SO I KILLED TIGERPAW!! Blackstar: *screams* Firestar: *loses life* (7 lives left) Sol: *flies in on a birdy* I TOLD YOU STARCLAN IS EVIL! *flies off before Hollyleaf can fully charge her obliteration gun* Hollyleaf: Missed him! *curses* Cinderheart: Blackstar begone! *throws garlic at Blackstar* Blackstar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *runs away* FIrestar: ...I guess the gathering is over? All the Clans: *agree* Meanwhile in the Tribe of Rushing Water Tigerstar: Put the lasers over there, and the tnt guns over there. Tribe Cats: This is evil work! Tigerstar: SHADDUP! Stormfur: I OBJECT! Goldenflower is better for you. Tigerstar: *explodes Stormfur* Brook: NOOO STORMY! Tigerstar: *explodes Brook* Small kit: *coughs* Tigerstar: *explodes small kit* Tigerstar: Any other objections!? Tribe Cats: ... Tigerstar: GOOD! Darkstripe: Hey uh Lord Tigerstar, we need you to sign here. The delivery for the strong poppy seeds has arrived and you just need to sign this. Tigerstar: Just tell them i'm Tigerstar. *puts muddy pawprint on paper* Darkstripe: Got it. *giant shipment of poppy seeds arrives* Tigerstar: First, we strike Thunderslam, then Windyfan, then Riverclam, then Shadowscam. And Skybam!! Back in ThunderClan Firestar: Hey, Jayfeather, whats this in my mouth? It came out of a bush. Ravenleap: I join ThunderClan! Firestar: kk got it. Jayfeather: It's a poppy seed. Just eat it. Willowshine: RiverClan got too derpy for me. *sigh* Firestar: *eats poppy seed, loses life, sleeps* zzzz.. (6 lives left) Willowshine: So is this how to treat your leader? Jayfeather: Never really liked him, and he still has about seven lives left so.. Willowshine: Leopardstar needs to die soon. Surprised she was an adult even before Firestar came to your Clan. You'd think she'd be dead by now. Jayfeather: Yeah. Lionblaze: *walks in, noms poppy seed, falls on top of Firestar and sleeps* Jayfeather: Everybody is falling asleep right after eating those poppy seeds. They've never worked this good. Willowshine: Yeah, it's weird.. Does Flamepaw know about this? Ravenleap: Hey Jayfeath- *trips over Firestar and Lionblaze and falls asleep* Blackstar: Aha! Sword fighttt!! Sword Fight.. Briarkit: I'll slice you all into dust! Crowfrost: *growls* *slashes at Briarkit* Millie: My kit is in danger! DIE! *rips Crowfrost's ear off* Crowfrost: Again!? Ugh! *walks away* Jayfeather: Ohh noo!! *whips out a laser sword and burns Blackstar's tail fur off* Blackstar: AGHH!! Ngah! *fights Hollyleaf* Hollyleaf: Hiyah! *double sword slashes Blackstar into the wall* Darkstripe, Brokenstar, and Clawface: *rush in and grab Firestar, Lionblaze, and Ravenleap* Firestar: *loses life* (5 lives left) Willowshine: Oh no you don't! *slices Clawface's face, causing him to drop Ravenleap* Clawface: EEEEE *flees* Ravenleap: Wait wut happened? Graystripe: *sends a grenade into a crowd of ShadowClan cats* Battle! Now fight! Ravenleap: oh yeah. kk. WHERE IS FIRESTAR!? Jayfeather: Think about it. Do you really wanna save him? Graystripe: Well to be honest.. *fences with a ShadowClan cat* Ravenleap: Eh. He'll come back. He always comes back. *defends Whitewing from Oakfur* Oakfur: *has paw cut off* EEK! RUN AWAYYY!! *runs* Blackstar: NoOOO we is losing! Russetfur: Oh dear. *grabs Blackstar and runs* Hollyleaf: OH NO YOU DON'T! *slashes Blackstar as he exits* Blackstar: BLEHHH *loses life, wakes up* SHADOWSCAM, RETREATTT!! *is dragged away* Ravenleap: Who will be leader while Firestar is missing? Bumblekit: *holding sword, shrugs* Jayfeather: WE MUST VOTE!! ThunderClan: *votes for Ferncloud to be leader* Ferncloud, Dustpelt, Jayfeather, Graystripe, Willowshine, and Ravenleap: WHATTTT!? Ferncloud: It's such an honor! :D JAYFEATHER GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE WE GO TO MOONPOOL!! Jayfeather: Oh dear. *is dragged to moonpool* At the Moonpool Jayfeather: So you lap up some wate- Ferncloud: YAH YAH I GET IT! *puts straw in water and drinks* Jayfeather: *sigh* Ferncloud: WOOOAH STARRY KITTIES! Whitestorm: With this life I give you leadership. Ferncloud: YAYAS!! Jayfeather: *facepaw* Lionheart: With this life I give you wiseness. Jayfeather: Wisdom? Lionheart: Yah that. Sunstar: I'm old! Ferncloud: YAY! Sunstar: I give you live because i'm old! Ferncloud: YAY! Bluestar: I was here when you were born. Btw you now have the ability to be annoying. Jayfeather: Why did you do that Bluestar? Bluestar: Because I can! DISCOOO *discos out* Jayfeather: Oh dear. *sighs* Ferncloud: I WANNA BE LEADER ALREADY! Ashfur: I give you the gift of killing Hollyleaf. Ferncloud: LEMME AT HER! LEMME AT HERRR!! Jayfeather: Don't touch my sister! Ferncloud: MAKE ME! Jayfeather: *pulls out disintegration gun* Ferncloud: DON'TKILLMEPLES Bluestar: yadda yadda you are Fernstar. Fernstar: YAY! Jayfeather: Let's just go. Fernstar: FINE! Tribe of Rushing Water.. Again.. Firestar: What is this place? Why am I tied up? I'M SCARED! *sobs, loses life* (4 lives left) Lionblaze: You got.. *counts* 6 lives left now? Firestar: Nah, 4 lives. Anyways, AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Tigerstar: Shaddup! We'll begin the thorns in a few minutes. *stomps out* Lionblaze: How are we gonna get out!? Firestar: Like this! *teleports* Lionblaze: Oh. *teleports* Firestar: Is Brambleclaw taking good care of ThunderClan? Lionblaze: I hope. Over in Thunderslam Brambleclaw: AHHH STOP THROWING THAT! DON'T RIP UP THAT PREY! NOOO!! Fernstar: *yawn* Graystripe: *huddling in medicine den with Millie, the kits, Jayfeather, Willowshine, Ravenleap, and Whitewing* Jayfeather: I fear something bad is going to happen. GET WEAPONS! Willowshine: We don't got none. Jayfeather: Oh. Okay. Graystripe: Fernstar'll die soon. Right? Willowshine: She has to. Fernstar: I CALL MEETING!! Group: Oh dear. *go to clearing* Fernstar: Toadkit and Rosekit are now Toadpaw and Rosepaw! I will mentor them! AND THEY WILL BE MY DEPUTIES! ThunderClan: *angry yowling* Brambleclaw: EEk! Firestar: *storms into the clearing, sees Fernstar, loses life* (3 lives left) Ravenleap: FIRESTAR! :D Firestar: *is scared, loses life* (2 lives left) Lionblaze: I'm here too! Firestar: *is bored, loses life* (1 life left) Firestar: I'M SICK OF THUNDERCLAN AGH! *explodes Fernstar, and dies* Fernstar: *dies* Jayfeather: Right now Willowshine will be leader. Willowshine: TAKE ME TO THE MOONPOOL RIGHT NOW! Jayfeather: Okay okay, jeez.